I’ve had a shitty dad my entire life, by my father I’ve never been told I was beautiful, never did he fight for me when I left, i was always too fat even at my smallest, I lost all respect for him at the age of 16. My dad has never been there for me and I will make sure he will not be there to disappoint his grand kids. My dad chose sex and drugs over me and my sister… And as my anger grows, so does the pain. The realization that the one man who’s supposed to be in my life to protect me and love me unconditionally, never wanted me. I was a planned moment in my moms life, in my dads I was the reason he never made anything more of himself. He never told me I wasn’t his but he did make sure to let me know I was 100% my mothers. I carry around the emptiness and abandonment of my father… A sense I will never be good enough for anyone… I could have gone a different path then I have. I’ll be 19 in May, I’ve had the same boyfriend since I was 15 and have only had sex with that 1 person. He’s completely opposite from my dad. Normally people say you look for your mother or father in a spouse, not me. I had that once and realized I deserved better. My mother installed it in me never to lower myself or be beneath who I truly was. My mother taught me morals and standards to live by. When my father met my boyfriend, he shook his hand and walked away. No interrogation, no your gonna respect my daughter, nothing. Just a simple shake. When I decide to bring a child into this world, I will make sure the father is a man, no a boy wishing he could go back. He will love honor and cherish his children because he knows they are our gift. He will dance with his daughters and be proud and present at ever event our children have. He will teach our sons how to treat honor and become a man just like his dad.
This is bull shit, I used to be one of the very few people who were brave enough to put my whole head bright red! I love being unique and different! Now that Ariel is mainstream and full of the hipster bull shit, I’m done with the Fucken color! I will always be a red head but you know what, I wanna go white or even pastel purple! No one knows how to do it so I’ll be different again! As far as now the furthest step I’ve gotten to is blonde and everyone bitches that “they like my red hair better” fuck that!!! I don’t give a fuck what you like better every time I go blonde someone, everyone has something to say about it! You know what I’m not gonna Fucken mesh myself to your Fucken liking I’m gonna do what I wanna do! It pisses me off that everyone has this bull shit opinion and every time they do something to their hair or whatever, I don’t care for I’m not gonna say “oh hey, you look like shit!”. I’m not the type of person to want to hurt someone and make them feel uncomfortable with something they want, it’s not my place. If your not Simone or Cassie don’t Fucken voice your opinion to me cause all it’s gonna do is open the door for me to tell you you look like shit the next time I disapprove of something you do!